Preface: Has anyone out there reading this thought of starting a blog? There are so many things to consider. Coming from a position involving a lot of personnel recruitment, beginning this writing journey has brought with it a lot of apprehension. This will show on Google. They will want to see this. This could constitute an excellent example of the writing skills that I honed in five years of college and five years of professional work. BUT... and this is a big BUT... allowing for some informality and transparency will result in many more blog entries. Perhaps most importantly, setting aside pretensions, and throwing out my proofread-five-times-before-sending (and one time after posting) policy, will result in the world seeing my refreshingly real, unabashedly quirky self. My favorite writers and friends all have that quality. So often, we put on so many airs, covering our true selves with shields of professionalism, political correctness, and good English manners. I like all of those things, especially when it comes to exercising sensitivity to groups with less privilege. However... This blog, as much as possible, will not be perfect at all of those things. I say this as much to you (probably friends and mostly my close family, haha) as much as I do to myself. Because being true, authentic, and unashamed is a good thing for this world. :)
That being said, you probably would like to know what all of this has to do with China and diaries.
A little about my path... (Skip to the bottom paragraph if you are lazy or unable to navigate my twists and turns, haha).
As the end of 2013 grew near, I was in a very good place for someone with my education, experience, etc. Like any good American, I equivocated "good place" with only career goals. I want to be a leader in what one person called "prefigurative politics". That is, living and working to improve the welfare of all living beings and the environment. That is, things just like what I was doing in a large, international nonprofit with one of the coolest social enterprises I've ever seen. Where I was being exposed to and trained by leaders in said change. Where I had some of the coolest friends a person could ask for.
Yet, in that time, examining my goals for the new year of 2014, I knew I was missing something. To understand what that was, I have to think back to May, 2007. I had moved from my farm town university to work in a Honduran orphanage and center for street children. I experienced the cycle of infatuation, culture shock, familial love, and reverse culture shock as I met and left the Honduran children who forever changed my heart. I saw housing, sanitation, medical, and education conditions that were not right. It was one thing to have completed interdisciplinary studies of the US-CIA and trade policies in the area. It was another thing altogether to witness the ramifications. And the complications. You can construct a lot of theories and policy approaches from Cornell and George Washington and "twice alma mater" experiences at Harvard, as many who had explained away what they knew of the region had, prior to my travels. While they were right, in part, I learned in Honduras that there were four things people said that could actually help: real engineers and builders bringing in toilets and strong buildings; doctors, dentists, and nurses; degree-holding educators; and access to SAFE, sustainable agriculture. Legal and political movement for long-term change, while important, was frankly, not my place. And when I fell in love with the people, when they were humanized before my eyes rather than catalogued in journals on my desk, I knew I needed to act. I knew it would be extremely easy not to upon my return home. The quote, "Live simply so others can simply live" hung on my wall, reminding me that whatever I could do to help was not only needed, but rang true as a moral obligation at the core of my being. This kept me from being a typical, materialistic 21 year-old. For the exponentially long time of about 3 weeks. After that, I moved in with roommates from the wealthiest part of my state. I was very religious, as were they, at the time. I learned to practice all of the religion, except the oft-repeated commands to avoid greed. Then I became a bit of a hipster. Yep. I'll admit it. I learned to lighten up a bit and live more in tune with my feelings about justice, and shaped my career around that. I became a vegetarian, then a vegan. I started liking guys with beards and thinking girls with underarm hair were cool and more liberated than I. Goodwill was my favorite Saturday shopping destination. I canned. I did yoga. Wait, am I still that? Haha. All diversions aside, even with my somewhat dramatic shifts in lifestyle, one form of consumerism tended to replace another. It still always mattered if my place looked cool and I felt "put together". To this day, it does. I don't much know if it will change. Part of it is creative expression and part is, if we're all really honest, showing off. Which brings me back to this China adventure. I always had known, ever since leaving Honduras some 7 years ago, something in me needed further development. Honduras left an indelible sense that the current life that's being sold as cool is not actually sustainable. Many people, in what has been termed the developing world, seem to know a better way. You see, as much as I educated the children where I worked, they taught me much, much more.
My teachers:
While I've written here mostly how it has impacted my social perspective, which is a huge part of me, I can't even name how many other lessons I learned there. Many cultures are more loving than ours. Friends, new and old, greet with hugs, and *gasp* even cheek kisses. The hilarious problem for me is that different sides are used in different countries, leaving many surprised people getting a bit more than they bargained for from me, including an elderly Guatemalan farmer in the highlands, where I learned NO KISSES ARE GIVEN. I also have learned to treat life more lightly, to laugh, dance, and play more freely. For all of the difficult and initially shocking things that every country contains, I've always walked away from each one feeling more purposeful, more whole, more motivated to act, and more appreciative of my life.
Five years later, young in my career, with options in front of me that most work toward only after obtaining an M.A. degree, I took a risk. My partner had just graduated and would soon need to get his PhD, which would mean a probable relocation, but with my connections, I was relatively sure I'd find good opportunities in his grad school city... One thought came to me just as these changes were approaching. The Graduate Reentrance Exam (GRE) results, which determined Jeremy's school options, were good for two years.
I loved what I was doing. I had a good life. But I needed growth. I took a calculated risk. Fifty-some midnight Skype interviews later, we made the plunge. Those who know me well know that despite how strong my convictions are on... well, pretty much any matter ever to be considered... I'm a very anxious person. I worried about insurance and retirement at 24. I never want to get life wrong. After thorough planning, the time finally came to tell people. To order tickets. To board a 17-hour flight. I was terrified. I had a mini-freak-out before handing in my resignation. I full-fledged ugly cried packing my bags. I tried to console myself with words from Paul Coehlo, Elizabeth Gilbert, Thich Nhat Hanh, and the band JEM. It half worked. I arrived to China with many expectations. Finding that my apartment was infested with vermin and our pay wasn't as we'd thought was not among them. Forgetting that culture shock was inevitable and that I'd initially resented the things which were SO different in other countries, but later, laboriously but inevitably came to love, was not an expectation either. I never was infatuated. Nothing fit my expectations. Now... Past most of the shock and moving into the more mature love for a country that can only come with time knowing its warts and its beauty, I am happy to be here. I definitely see the lessons I'll learn in sustainable living, though I've learned to choose conversation partners carefully for these matters, to avoid prison. I'll save the sign-holding for when I'm back to the U.S. :) I've learned to enjoy the stares in the subway; to stop silently cursing at people cutting in lines; to say hello back to people who call out, even when my inner feminist thinks it to be a catcall hello; to dance freely with people whose language I may not know; to eat street food (sometimes to my detriment); to join in on making peace signs and saying "hao bao!" in photos; to look into the eyes of old women talking loudly, thinking it will make me understand Cantonese, and smile at their kindness; and overall, to love this beautiful and radically different place.
Here's all you really wanted to know about the blog:
Together, for one year, my partner and I are embarking on an adventure as English teachers in China. One which will impact the way we think and operate for the rest of our lives.
<3 <3 <3
Peace and love from the country of 1.35 billion cool souls...
-a.w.
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